Oh but I DO try, Reverend Mother

Well, I'm nearing forty (eek etc) so decided to write up a list of things to do while I'm waiting. Nice sensible things. Help a local charity. Start learning to drive. One of them was to knit a jumper like what the mighty Sarah Lund wears. You know, her off of The Killing. Essentially because I really wanted one but am too tight to pay nearly £300 for a jumper, even if it does have magic self-mending properties.

Needless to say I can't find the pattern anywhere on the internet. But I did find a much nicer pattern, and wool supplier, from the Faroe Islands, so away I ordered and on I got with it.

But then I got distracted by yarn. Wool shops are bad places, in a good way. Lovely lovely yarn eh?

So now I'm knitting a jumper AND a punchwork scarf. Needless to say all other projects are on hold until I get both of them done. Needless to say I want them both NOW. And it's only 2 weeks until NaNoWriMo kicks off.

I may have to give up work.

So now I'm knitting

A Bad Hat: Lessons Learned

Sometimes things go well.

Sometimes I have to knit sleeves.

And sometimes, after knitting lovely scarf, I go off piste and let my sister choose a couple of stitches to make a freestyle hat, which I fail to measure properly and live in hope then when it's stretched it will All Be Fine.

This however did not work. All was not Fine at all. What I have made is essentially a woollen blancmange mould, which is not exactly useful.

It is now warming the bannisters.

10 Little Men

Quite cute. And quick. Although I nearly ran out of eyes.

They now live in a quite shit foil-based flying saucer in a cupboard at my sister's school. Shortly to be torn apart by small children. Like in Toy Story 3, only with no escape.

Ooooooh.

That is all.

Stash II: The Revenge

Just looked at some old posts on here. I have pretty much the same stash as I had in 2007. I.e. one ball of each. Rubbish.

Swank

This blog is no longer dead.

Non. IT LIVES. A bit like Jesus, innit.

I am about to embark on a new slightly tricky project aka SWANK (fancypants name for a giant knitted hoodie). Being the fusspot I am I have spent 2 days locating the right wool in the right colour. Hopefully it is now en route. If not, I will have to eat more creme eggs than normal. How awful.

This is not to say that I've done no knitting since the last blog in 1923. Oh no. I've knitted some shit. Cricket jumper, scarf, fingerless gloves, scarf, scarf, scarf... It's not been challenging.

I am also halfway through my first book, which I am planning to finish soonish i.e. before Baby Jean comes down for the weekend CapricaFest at the end of Feb.

So, I am going to race them. Swank vs Novel. The ultimate creative smackdown.*

*The author reserves the right to spend too much time watching telly instead.

Worthy

Knitting small items for charity shoeboxes is good as they don't take long AND you get to feel good about yourself. Hurrah.

SO this season dahling

FASHION. As Professor Peach might say, it likes'em biiiiiiiig.

Big knits are in this year. Big knits, in order to wear which one must not only be super skinny but also be exceptionally strong. So, only suitable for Cylons then. And even then just the ladybots.

However, being easily led etc I have knitted a big chunky green scarf. It looks and feels lovely. And it will keep me warm as whenever I wear it I will be sweating like a navvy as it is ver ver heavy. Also it is knitted in magic double stocking stitch which is magic and actually means I have knitted a double layer.

And now I don't know what to knit next. I am toying with the idea of knitting a spiral mesh cap thing but it looks like complicated and I am in mid-BSG-box set (in case you hadn't realised) so need to do something not very taxing. Yo might be yoyo or even yoyoyo and a bottle of rum by the time I realise what I'm about.

It's tricky.

CABLETASTICITY

Is where it's at.

Lovely stuff.

OH. MY. GOD.

I just found out about ravelry - an internet 'community' (blech) for knitters and other type of yarn fiend. I'm quite excited about it - a joyous internet combination of knitting and filing.

Hurrah!

(H)armless

Hello everybody!

I'm the other Jean - a slightly younger and more male version of Jean. Also my hair is not ginger, which I feel to be significant.

Anyway, Jean has knitted me this wonderful deep v tank top WITHOUT ARMS, which is particularly impressive since arms often prove to be an issue for Jean. A really, really long issue. You know how some people are long in the tooth? This lady is long in the arm. But we won't talk about that, otherwise she might not come and collect the mouldy camping equipment in my bedroom. That and I'm not really one to talk since I haven't knitted anything that isn't square or made up of smaller square parts. I was about to say 'Hang on a minute, I'm doing some entrelac in the round', but then I realised that it's just lots and lots of small squares joined together.

Whatever, here's the tank top. Witness its deep v goodness:

In a bit,

other Jean

A Tank Top with ARMS

Just watch and learn.

After finishing Spot the dog-level shawl, I am now embarking on what I believe is called a Tank Top for the delectation of the younger Jean. Clearly he is wary after my last escapade with jumper knitting, which resulted with the Longest Arms in Christendom. This is not a good look on anyone.

Consequently Young Jean has asked for a tank top not a jumper. Wise, yet somehow I will still probably manage to get arms in there somehow. It's like a sickness.

And can I just say

Work frakking sucks. I should bring my knitting in so at least I can do something while waiting 84000 years for things to save on my coal-powered computer.

Knitting Shakespeare

T'other knitting Jean is embarking on the most special of literary projects - actually knitting Portia. Crikey. The quality of mercy may be greatly strained. Look...

I however am knitting the equivalent of a Spot book but I am still recovering from the sock trauma.

Vintage Retro Old Stuff

Or second-hand, as I like to call it. I have been suffering from eBay giddiness this weekend trying to purchase cheap wool for my mum's shoebox projects, and getting massively sidetracked by the number of delightful objets de tricoter. Although I will just say that just because it's second hand DOESN'T MAKE IT VINTAGE OR RETRO yes? So, amongst the many (and I mean many) Bakelite needles coming my way (unless someone outbids me on the one I meant to watch not bid for) I have received some delightful things:

Row and Stitch Counter

Look at it - gorgeous. By eck they don't make 'em like that anymore.

I don't know how I am going to attach it to a needle. But I don't care.

And it even comes with some delightful instructions on the back about how to use it.

Old Style Knitting Patterns

Here's the thing see - I wanted a cheap basic man's v neck pattern, so I got this job lot, and it was quite scary.

Lots of posing with pipes, binoculars (why?) and garden utensils all through the booklet.

Life must have been frightfully jolly, what. Glad I have got satellite tv though.

However there are exceptions in the book - look at this!

Beer AND a fag! Shoot him!

It's like a 1950s Pete Doherty.

And again with the pipe.

Nice.

Anyway enough of that malarkey. I'm off to try and fill the ANTM-sized hole in my Monday night telly viewing. I suppose I could always knit a Tyra...

Lonely Sock Seeks Similar For Long Term Partnership

Gosh. I have finally finished knitting a sock. On five tiny tiny needles. The Needles of Evil. Tiny. I need to get over that really. Were it not for the fact that the sock contains lovely lovely colours it would have been abandoned - as in incomplete - a while ago. I mean, a season and a half of Battlestar Galactica is a long time to spend on half a project when I could have easily watched the same whilst eating or knitting something that didn't hurt my fingers quite so much.

As it is the sock is abandoned, in the sense that it will be a long long time before I pick up the Tiny Needles of Doom again. Also I am not really sure I could make a compatible sock, i.e. one with a really bizarre ruched heel (not great at picking up stitches, me) and a slightly mutant foot.

However we all learn from our mistakes, and many a muckle makes a muckle, as Tyra would say. I shall recover my knitting mojo by working through my lovely new book 400 Knitting Stitches and making some lacy swatches. Oooh.

Welcome

Or should that be woolcome (no) to the wonderful world of yarn.

We like knitting. It is a Good Thing.